DONALD MILLER GUEST POST: Learning to Love Your Flaws



Had a long talk tonight with a friend about our flaws, how as we were growing up we were fat or freckled or wore glasses, and about no matter how much we change, we still feel like that rejected kid. She wasn’t quite as chubby as I was (or still am!) but she still got made fun of in school. For both of us, the healing really came when we learned to accept ourselves as we were.

It’s a slow process, for sure, and for me it included forgiving myself without feeling sorry for myself, and deciding to enjoy life now, not “when I lose weight.”


For me, that was the beginning of a long journey of losing more than 150 pounds. I don’t always love my body, but I rarely if ever hate it anymore. I’ve come a long way from those times that, in high school, I’d stress about not fitting into my band uniform. It’s been an incredible journey. I never diet anymore, and I keep a closer check on the crap I tell myself than I do on the scale (though I confess I weigh every day as, for me, it’s healthy to see that number and accept it rather than hate it.)

I used to hate seeing pictures of me back when I was so much heavier, but now, I love them. I was a good guy back then. I was carrying around a lot more than weight and it only produced muscle. And being that big gave me a big heart. I’m grateful.

It’s true we impress people with our supposed perfections, but we connect with each other in our flaws.

I’d rather be connected than perfect. After talking to my friend tonight about our flaws, I’m going to bed connected. Feels pretty good. Hope you’ve got some folks to celebrate your flaws with too.

Thought this video from Caitlyn Crosby was great.




Feel free to share your very favorite flaws in the comments below!



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